GOD ON TRIAL
Famous Defense Lawyer Represents
The courtroom was crowded, no fear of Covid in the air. The public gallery mumbled and wriggled in their chairs. Reporters were primed for the biggest story of their time.
The judge was looking dismayed, the proceedings had been delayed. The jury looked ahead, they sought justice for the dead. The prosecutor adjusted the rug atop his head.
But the defense table was bare — no one was sitting there.
The prosecutor stood and stated to the judge: The People are ready, your honor, but we seem to be missing the accused and his attorneys.
Who is acting for the defense? the judge wanted to know.
Enriqué Enza, your honor, and my formidable foe—
The prosecutor did not get to finish his sentence. At that moment the courtroom door was flung open and in flew Enza. And right behind him, none other than the Jackdaw of Unreason.
The prosecutor turned abruptly in his chair, dislodging his hair.
Enza and the Jackdaw perched on the defense table. Sorry for the delay, your honor, apologized the Jackdaw.
The judge squinted through his glasses: You’re here, but where is the accused?
He’s right here, your honor.
Where? I don’t see him.
You cannot see Him, judge, but trust me, He is here.
What are you talking about? Why can’t I see him?
God is invisible, your honor, everyone knows that. He has not been seen in more than two thousand years.
I can see him! yelled a man from the public gallery. Others joined in: I can see him too! Me too!
The judge banged his gavel, he was beginning to unravel. The jury was confused, they began to smell a ruse.
Well, er, stammered the judge who was as dumb as a bag of rocks, how does he plead to the charge?
He makes no plea, said the Jackdaw, He hasn’t spoken in two thousand years.
The prosecutor was on his feet, sweating from the heat. God is charged with mass murder by microbe, you honor, I DEMAND THAT HE APPEAR!
Three things happened at once. A lightning bolt flashed outside breaking windows, the lights went out in the courtroom and a thunderclap shook the building.
MISTRIAL! screamed the judge and ran from the room.
The Jackdaw and Enza gave each other the high wing. The jury was terrified, they couldn’t understand a thing. The prosecutor was under his chair, looking for his hair.
God was spirited away by four and twenty blackbirds.
Reporters yelled questions at the attorneys for the Lord but they were too chickenshit to face the rabid horde.
A bailiff, who in such matters was seasoned, opened a side door and out flew Enza and the Jackdaw of Unreason.