GOD AND THE CAT GOD
I tape record this with no regrets
My cat has grown weary of my threats
In the weeks since the death of my wife
To take a shotgun and end my life.
Just do it, he says, you’ve got eight more.
Are you nuts! I have one, no encore.
Are you telling me, says this feline,
That the Cat God gave us creatures nine
And your God grants y’all a measly one.
Bet your ass, I say, feeling undone.
Well, well, well, the cat says with a smirk
That must drive you biped dudes berserk,
Humanity’s fate is woebegone
Just one lousy life, the cat goes on
And yet a turtle, say, has no fears
He can crawl and crawl a hundred years,
And you can’t even kill a cockroach!
I am aware I begin to broach.
But then the cat turns to creation:
You believe in reincarnation?
I don’t know, why do you ask me that?
Believe, dude, and come back as a cat.
It’s not up to me you mad crackpot!
Screw it, says the cat, give it a shot,
I’ll personally contact the Cat God
And put in a good word, you ol’ sod.
Go ahead, the cat adds, grab the gun—
Hey, fill my food dish before you’re done.
So I fill the cat’s dish and go backstage
Plug in a shell and grab the 12-gauge—
[Tape abruptly ends]