Tag: Indestructible Atoms


Billy, the Silver Surfer and a girl named Sue


I haven’t heard from my wife in 17 months — 17 months and 11 hours as of this writing to be exact. I call her name, I try to summon her spirit. Not a peep, not a hint of a presence. I crawl into the crawlspace looking for her ghost, I look in the liquor cabinet, the closets, under the bed, all I see under the bed is the cat who gives me a look that says, You is crazy, Cat God. She thinks I’m the Cat God like people think God is the God God.

I don’t want to get into that, all I know is I don’t know where my wife is. For answers I pray in my own way which is not so much praying as sending out fervent psychic energy reaching from heaven to oblivion. I even engaged the Silver Surfer to look for her but so far he has come up empty.

I need more time, he told me. There are more than two trillion galaxies in the universe.

In other words, I said, she could be anywhere.

Or nowhere, he said.

What do you mean?

Oblivion, my friend.

But what about the indestructible atoms that make up the human body and the mind? They’ve got to end up somewhere.

That scientific theory may have been overstated, said the Silver Surfer.

I need something, man. My friend and spiritual advisor Renata de Dios tells me to have faith in God, that my wife is in Heaven — Renata’s words, not mine.

Listen, I’m out there, dude, and I’ve yet to see any evidence of God, but that doesn’t mean your wife’s not somewhere in those two trillion galaxies. 

That’s what I’m counting on, because if the God of Love that Renata de Dios believes in does exist, he sure as hell’s got it in for me. He has taken everyone in my family. My wife was all I had left. And he had to take her too.

All I can tell you, man, is don’t give up hope. If you give up hope, you’re dead. Now, hand me a shot of that whiskey you’re drinking and I’ll be on my way.

You’re a good friend, Silver Surfer.

I try. Get some sleep, Billy, you look beat.


The Silver Surfer Abandons His Search for God

Now a ‘Rescue Mission’ for Lost Souls


Exclusive interview with American Daze Purple Haze

ADPH: Thanks for granting this interview, Silver Surfer.

SS: My pleasure.

ADPH: Was there one overwhelming reason why you gave up your search for God?

SS: Yes. He’s nowhere to be found.

ADPH: How can you be so sure?

SS: Well, I scoured every corner of more than a trillion galaxies at ultra light speed and came up empty.

ADPH: More than a trillion! But I was under the impression there are only two hundred billion galaxies in the Universe.

SS: That’s how many are known to human astronomers — I found many, many more in my travels.

ADPH: Of course. So now what?

SS: Now the so-called search mission has become a rescue mission for all the lost souls formerly believed to be in quote Heaven unquote.

ADPH: Your assumption then is that if there is no God, there can be no Heaven?

SS: Of course. It’s the only logical conclusion.

ADPH: You wouldn’t agree then with the guest we had on last week?

SS: Who was your guest last week?

ADPH: The Jackdaw of Unreason.

SS: I think you’ve just answered your own question.

ADPH: Do you have a problem announcing this on Easter Sunday?

SS: What are they going to do — shoot the messenger?

ADPH: That’d sure be a waste of ammo — and bullets are an essential commodity here in America. Guns, ammo and liquor.

SS: Speaking of liquor, do you have anything to drink in your modest bungalow?

ADPH: A liquor cabinet full. What’s your preference? You look like a bourbon man to me.

SS: Jack and I go way back.

ADPH: Excellent. Man, it’s great to have someone to drink with. I’ve been pretty much alone here since my wife died sixteen months ago.

SS: I know the feeling — when I lost the love of my life.


ADPH: I read about that. I’m sorry. [They sip their bourbons for a while, each lost in his own thoughts. Then:] Hey, Silver Surfer, I know what you said about no God and no Heaven, but do you think it’s possible that my wife’s indestructible atoms could have reassembled in some unknown form in another galaxy?

SS: Not only is it possible, my friend, it is very likely.

ADPH: You don’t know what that means to me, Silver Surfer. Life without her has been unbearable. Every day, every night, suicidally so. So what you say gives me hope. Question is, which galaxy, right?

SS: Well, I can help you with that — Say, do you have anything to smoke with this fine bourbon?

ADPH: How about some Purple Haze?

SS: I smoke it all the time.

ADPH: I bet you do, Silver Surfer, I bet you do.