Tag: Bereaved husband

Enlisting Silver Surfer to help in my Cosmic Quest

It’s a long shot but profound grief makes one push the envelope.

First of all, let me tell you about this super hero, the Silver Surfer. Man, I can’t begin tell you what he can do (see footnote below). But just for starters, he travels throughout the Universe on a surfboard craft faster than the speed of light.  

Now, as incredible as this sounds, there’s a remote chance that I can enlist the Silver Surfer to help find my wife, who, I hope beyond hope and pray beyond prayer, is somewhere out there, among the 100 billion galaxies in the Universe.

The Silver Surfer suffered his own loss of a soulmate, so he would understand my quest.


I don’t mean to insult any reader, but in case you don’t know, the Silver Surfer is a humanoid alien with indestructible metallic skin who can travel through space on the surfboard at superluminal speed.

He used to be an astronomer, Norrin Radd, who lived on the planet Zenn-La, which was targeted for extinction by the planet devourer Galactus, a god-like figure who feeds on the energy of living planets. 


Radd confronted Galactus and offered to become his herald, seeking out new worlds for him to devour if Galactus would spare Zenn-La. Galactus agreed and transformed Radd into the silver-skinned, cosmic-powered super-being, imbuing him with a small portion of his Power Cosmic.* (see footnote)

Radd basically had sold his soul; he served Galactus for 100 years. But when Galactus planned to devour Earth, things changed radically for the conflicted Radd. It’s a complex story [see here] but with the help of the Fantastic Four, the Silver Surfer rediscovered his noble spirit and his soul.

The Silver Surfer defied Galactus and saved Earth! Galactus took his revenge by exiling him to Earth, where the Silver Surfer joined forces with the Fantastic Four and other super heroes to fight demons and destroyers throughout the Universe.

Heavy duty stuff! So here’s the deal. I have a supernatural acquaintance — I can say no more about that at this time — who has a way (again, secrecy must prevail) of contacting a certain member of the Fantastic Four, who in turn can contact the Silver Surfer.

As I said, it’s not going to be easy — in fact it’s going to be incredibly difficult — but I believe that nothing is impossible in this already impossible Universe.

*Herewith the “aesthetic evil” of the footnote: Power Cosmic is cosmic energy that allows the possessor to perform God-like feats, including creating life, resurrection, manipulating souls, memories and emotions, telepathy, telekinesis, size alteration, transmutation of matter, teleportation of objects across space, creation of force fields, inter-dimensional portals, and, the most formidable of all, mass-scale events such as re-creating dead worlds and destroying multiple solar systems simultaneously.


Faith is damn hard


Now I know why ‘Keep the faith’ is such a popular expression — it needs to be said often and always. Because it’s damn hard to keep the faith.
I’m not just talking about faith in God, or any other scientifically Unknown Being, I’m talking about faith in your own will and determination to keep the faith — faith in hope and prayer, and, let’s face it, faith in suspension of disbelief.

If you’ve been raised Catholic, as my wife was — and I was not — you’ve already got one, more like two feet on the road to the ’Narrow Gate’ [Matthew 7:13–Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.]

The Narrow Gate to where?—Heaven, some sort of Life After Death, Something after death? The thinking varies on this and is seldom clear, certainly not clearly known, pure speculation, hope and faith.

Ah-hah, back to faith we come.
Ever since the death of my wife ten months ago, I walk through the empty rooms of this house talking to her, chatting away about our life together, asking her questions about where, if anywhere, she is, and so forth.

And believe it or not, she replies, but in my voice, which surprises me. So I ask her, Why are you talking in my voice? And she says, again in my voice, Because I am in your head and your voice comes from your head, or specifically your brain, and that’s why my voice sounds like your voice.

But what are you saying? I ask. Are we, you and I, not having these conversations?
No, I’m sorry to say, she in my voice replies, because this is only in your desperate, lonely, hopeless mind.

But, I reply, not to be vanquished, I’m trying to have faith. You often told me that in your religion, if you act like you have faith, faith will be given to you.
To this she says: It’s got to be genuine, honey, from your heart and soul, not just from your mind.

Then she tells me, or my damn voice tells me, You know that movie we liked so much, ‘The Verdict’ where Paul Newman in his summation talks about faith? Well, watch it again.

Man, I thought that was kind of rough, but I watched the movie. The part that my wife referred to comes at 1:17 in the clip.

I don’t know, man, a moving speech, but I guess I’ve got my work cut out for me if I ever want to see my wife again. And you bet your life, or my life, I sure as hell do. The alternative is nothing but emptiness.


Take a Flyer on Faith

It goes against everything I ever believed

But I am so inconsolably bereaved

By the death of my wife so suddenly taken

My sole soulmate by “merciful God” forsaken

That I am prepared to suspend disbelief

To free myself from this insufferable grief

And do whatever I need to get to God

And if faith is to be my connecting rod

I will embrace it for whatever it’s worth

It’s bound to be better than this hell on earth.