Silver surfer abandons search

Silver Surfer abandons search for God

Now a ‘Rescue Mission’ for Lost Souls

Exclusive interview with American Daze Purple Haze

ADPH: Thanks for granting this interview, Silver Surfer.

SS: My pleasure.

ADPH: Was there one overwhelming reason why you gave up your search for God?

SS: Yes. He’s nowhere to be found.

ADPH: How can you be so sure?

SS: I scoured every corner of more than a trillion galaxies at ultra light speed and came up empty.

ADPH: More than a trillion! But I was under the impression there are only two hundred billion galaxies in the Universe.

SS: That’s how many are known to human astronomers — I found many, many more in my travels.

ADPH: Of course. So now what?

SS: Now the so-called search mission has become a rescue mission for all the lost souls formerly believed to be in quote Heaven unquote.

ADPH: Your assumption then is that if there is no God, there can be no Heaven?

SS: Of course. It’s the only logical conclusion.

ADPH: You wouldn’t agree then with the guest we had on last week?

SS: Who was your guest last week?

ADPH: The Jackdaw of Unreason.

SS: I think you’ve just answered your own question.

ADPH: Do you have a problem announcing this on Easter Sunday?

SS: What are they going to do — shoot the messenger?

ADPH: That’d sure be a waste of ammo — and bullets are an essential commodity here in America. Guns, ammo and liquor.

SS: Speaking of liquor, do you have anything to drink in your modest bungalow?

ADPH: A liquor cabinet full. What’s your preference? You look like a bourbon man to me.

SS: Jack and I go way back.

ADPH: Excellent. Man, it’s great to have someone to drink with. I’ve been pretty much alone here since my wife died sixteen months ago.

SS: I know the feeling — when I lost the love of my life.


ADPH: I read about that. I’m sorry. [They sip their bourbons for a while, each lost in his own thoughts. Then:] Hey, Silver Surfer, I know what you said about no God and no Heaven, but do you think it’s possible that my wife’s indestructible atoms could have reassembled in some unknown form in another galaxy?

SS: Not only is it possible, my friend, it is very likely.

ADPH: You don’t know what that means to me, Silver Surfer. Life without her has been unbearable. Every day, every night, suicidally so. So what you say gives me hope. Question is, which galaxy, right?

SS: Well, I can help you with that — Say, do you have anything to smoke with this fine bourbon?

ADPH: How about some Purple Haze?

SS: I smoke it all the time.

ADPH: I bet you do, Silver Surfer, I bet you do.

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8 thoughts on “Silver Surfer abandons search for God

  1. “I looked and looked but I didn’t see God.” [Speaking about, in 1961, becoming the first human to enter space.]” — Yuri Gagarin

    No Sightings of the Surfer either? Perhaps he was away on some distant Galaxy mission or was seen but dismissed as a streaking white bolt of light out of the corner of Yuri’s eye. There — then gone in a blink of the eye so quick — one couldn’t accept it was there to begin with. Rock on Purple Haze!

  2. Shows you how lucky I was to get him for an interview — not that it was much of an interview, he was more interested in smokin’ than talking.

  3. Thank you. I just read your bio. You are my kind of guy, all the authors and movie directors et alia, I want to stay in touch but I don’t see a “follow” button.