SEARCH FOR GOD

The loneliness of the God seeker

A Personal Quest

In my haphazard search for “God” — whatever that word means, I prefer the word Creator but that’s a topic for another time — I have found that people who have found God do not need anyone else.

This is especially helpful to people who have lost everyone they ever loved. For them, God is a great source of comfort and companionship on this lonely planet.

I went to the house of an old man whose whole family have died and I asked him, How to do stand living here alone?

I’m not alone, he said, I have God.

I envied him. I could use some of what he’s got. I am doubly isolated, first by the loss of loved ones and then by Covid. I could have asked the old man how he found God and all the rest of it but his way would not be my way, and if there is a secret to it or a shortcut, I’m not interested.

Seeking God is a personal and individual quest. That’s why I would never “find God” at a church service or at an evangelical gathering, for then I would feel like a mindless sheep, caught up in an emotional fervor, following the herd, and it wouldn’t be something I deeply felt — and knew — in my heart.

So I stumble along, feeling my way, a blind man in a thick forest, not expecting to “see” God or hear God or trip over God, for I do not believe God has any corporeal substance. He’s not a man for godsake. He doesn’t have a body and he doesn’t have a walking stick.

But if I make it out of the woods without being jabbed by deadly thorns or bitten by a snake, I will feel someone — or something — helped me through. That I was not alone.


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4 thoughts on “The loneliness of the God seeker

  1. I feel the despair in your words Bill. And it seems life and situation at this time, gives you good reason. Yet in reality, nobody knows what happens after death — not one of the estimated 100 billion that have died before us — has ever come back to tell us. And looking at the horrors in our world today, surely we are on our own until then. On our own, but not alone my friend.

    Strength and Comfort does not have to come from a man-made perceptional belief. It can be found in and among your friends — or your blog followers — like Me. And we are definitely here and now!

    You are not alone my friend!

    “Some days simply lay on you like stones.” ― Patrick Rothfuss

    “There’s no way for them to take away my sadness, but they can make sure I am not empty of all the other feelings.” ― David Levithan

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