Every summer, New York City releases public service announcements on such matters as avoiding injuries during July Fourth fireworks celebrations, keeping cool in heatwaves and how to stay safe at the beach.
The latest announcement is a tad more dire — and totally useless.
This time the subject is a nuclear attack on the city — sparked by recent Russian state media broadcasts that good ol’ crazy insane terminally ill psycho nutcase Vlad Putin could obliterate the entire East and West coast of the U.S. with just four missiles.
In the event of such a thing happening, the advice by NYC’s Emergency Management Department doesn’t exactly help.
In a video, a woman dressed all in black like Diana Rigg’s Emma Peel in the 1960s TV series The Avengers tells New Yorkers to: ‘Get inside, shut doors and windows, stay inside and stay tuned to broadcasts about what to do next. Don’t go outside until officials say it’s safe.’
Oh, and by the way, ‘If you were outside after the blast, get clean immediately. Remove and bag all outer clothing, to keep radioactive dust or ash away from your body.’
Yeah, that radioactive dust can be darn annoying!
The video ends with the lovely lady in black cheerfully telling us, ‘Alright. You’ve got this.’
Yo, Emma, we’re cool, baby, gotja covered!
What she didn’t mention is that a nuclear blast in New York City would kill more than a million people instantly. There would be no ‘inside’ to go to, and ‘outside’ would be unimaginable hell.
But, hey, no big deal, no worries. Fuhgeddaboudit!