Karma has its way.
I am being punished for my sins. My sins against women. I was no Jack the Ripper or anything like that. More like Bill the Skipper. I’d skip out on them, rather abruptly I’m afraid, toodle-oo, as in, love ’em and leave ’em. More than once, full of hurt.
Now I’m left high and alcoholic. In all fairness, on a few occasions, I was the one left holding my heart in my hand. The most punishing revenge was outside Bloomindale’s on a deathly cold New Year’s Eve. It’s a long story, but the end result, in a kick in the nutshell, was my girlfriend of five years dumped me for a successful guy who was bound to be wealthy one day. I fictionalized it in a story, an excerpt of which can be found below.
Anyway, a few years after that, and its California aftermath, I married S., and guess what? I treated her cavalierly too. Thank god, she gave back as good as she got. It was a highly flammable relationship. Despite that, we had some wonderful times in the thirty years we managed to patch together, in different cities and countries; the rotten times were rough, but S. would keep her cool and roll another joint. She was the coolest person I’ve ever known. And I never told her that.
So the punishment, imposed by the Chief Magistrate banging his gavel in my brain-cell damaged mind was five years solitary confinement. Which I think was rather severe. But I can’t complain. I’ve got a roof over my head and the amenities that come with a lowly bungalow in the sticks, and best of all, a cat to keep me company.
A little bit like the Birdman of Alcatraz, ’cept I’ve got a cat. She’s great company and doesn’t mind being confined along with me. We’ve gotten to know each other’s moods and mood swings and idiosyncrasies over these years.
But how I miss S! After several years of a botched back surgery and its complications, she ended up on a walker. She was on a walker but still managed to prop me up. She kept me sane.
Now it’s up to me. And Bella, and, at this moment, Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9.
You don’t have to go on being punished for your sins. God has made a way we can all be forgiven and become children of God. Only the shedding of blood can wash away our sins. Jesus is God, equal to the Father. He became a man so he could experience the death that we all deserve and by shedding his blood could atone for our sins. If you want to know more about this I suggest that you read this: https://carm.org/questions/about-salvation/
Apologetics and fundamentalism are not my bag. If I believed in anything it would be less dogmatic and more spiritual.