The Testament According to the Jackdaw of Unreason
The Jackdaw of Unreason believes in God. That’s the very reason he’s called the Jackdaw of Unreason, because you can’t look to reason to believe in God — you look to unreason.
Belief in God goes against reason. Believing in a fantastic realm of an afterlife is irrational.
Reason stands like a pillar of logic on a solid foundation of fact. The reason the sun will come up tomorrow is because it has been coming up for 4.5 billion years and it’s perfectly logical — in fact, it’s a fact — that it will come up tomorrow.
Reason is rational, reason is sanity. Believing in God is irrational and insane. Only a lunatic could believe in God.
Enter the Jackdaw of Unreason. He believes in God. That’s why he’s called the Jackdaw of Unreason.
But, Jackdaw, saith I, playing the devil’s advocate, why would you believe in a God when he referred to your species, namely, vultures, buzzards, ravens, and hawks as “an abomination” among the birds? [Leviticus 11:13-19]
But the jackdaw was a step ahead of me. “You are not the Bible scholar you apparently think you are, my friend, God was referring to creatures that should not be eaten. In any case that’s the Old Testament and irrelevant here, I’m talking about a testament for these times.”
“According to the jackdaw,” I put in.
“That’s what I’m here for, right?’
The Mad Bird of Metropolis
The jackdaw is a lunatic. Not the kind of lunatic whose insanity derives from the phases of the moon, but a bona fide genuine madman, I mean madbird.
The jackdaw tells someone with reason, Forget your reason, get some unreason. Reason won’t get you to the afterlife.
Furthermore, quoth the jackdaw, faith is unreason. Faith is believing in something when there is no proof that it exists. Faith is irrational.
So, get some faith, he says. Don’t question it, just stand firm like an irrational lunatic on a fantastic unfoundation of unreason.
Ah, that jackdaw, he’s one crazy bird.
Problem is, that loony bird of unreason has been whispering sweet nothings into our ears now for thousands upon thousands of years. And the weak and needy have listened, his followers numbering in the billions today. It’s way past time someone put an end to his fanatical story-telling madness. You got a gun Bill, next time you see him perched in a tree do the world a favor and end this once and for all!
Ha-ha, you gave me a good laugh with that one, El Corko, but nah, I wouldn’t shoot my feathered friend, besides, my cat likes to chase him away.