The Jackdaw of Unreason Moves in Mysterious Ways
1 ¹Elmore Mich saw the light and it was black. ²And he said, Let there be light. ³And God said, Fuckoff.
2 ¹Undeterred, Elmore sought enlightenment in the depths of a fifth of Scotch. ²And he drank the fifth at the Firth of Forth. ³And on the fifth day he created the Jackdaw of Unreason.
3 ¹The Jackdaw of Unreason was imbued with the spirit of God. ²Because God and Heaven cannot be reached through reason. ³Only unreason.
4 ¹And Elmore saw that it was good. ²And he blessed the Jackdaw, saying, Be fruitful and multiply. ³And the Jackdaw lay 2.38 million eggs throughout the world and called them Christians.
5 ¹Elmore castigated the Jackdaw for over-laying, and called him unclean and detestable. ²Upon hearing that, the Jackdaw flew to the very edge of Heaven. ³And from that great height and with pinpoint accuracy crapped on Elmore’s head.